As usual, it had been a long day.
So I did what I always do after a long day….watch mindless television shows.
NaijaHusband wasn’t home so I sprawled out luxuriously on the settee, fitting my body into the grooves he’d worked so hard on molding perfectly to his shape when he watches his favorite shows.
The program I’d selected was a good one and within no time I was held captive by its plot. Soon, the episode reached an exciting climax, with the heroine about to drive off a perilous cliff. I drew closer to the edge of the settee in anticipation as her car zoomed towards the precipice. Her hands were tied to the wheel and the brakes had been cut. With no hope in sight, she screamed the name of the hero in one last desperate attempt to escape.
Suddenly, BOOM! like a lightning flash, he appeared out of the sky, right in front of the out of control vehicle. He smashed his hands into the car lights, stopping its motion instantly. Without even breaking a sweat, the hero glanced at her quietly then, just as quickly as he had appeared, vanished…out into the night air.
“NOW THAT IS A MAN!!!” I yelled as I jumped out of my seat after the powerful scene was over. Kai! What power! What manliness! Just like that. Boom! Straight out of the sky the very second she called his name, saving her from a sure death.
“OOOOOOH GOD. WHY HAVEN”T YOU MADE MORE MEN LIKE THIS?” I shouted, before I looked guiltily around me. It was silly really. No one was home but me, yet I knew I’d uttered words I wouldn’t have said in NH’s presence.
I rewound the scene over and over on my computer until NaijaHusband came home.
When he kissed me, I was probably a little distant, still wrapped up in the intensity of it all.
“Oh it’s just him.” I thought. “Nothing like that super hero. Just my standard, typical hubby.”
So I ran off to the shower, leaving him in the sitting room. It was late and I needed to sleep. My heart was still racing from the excitement of the show and a nice long bath would “cool” me down.
Stepping into the shower, I reached for the sponge hanging on the heavy, metal caddy on the wall….when suddenly it all came crashing down….
Missing my head by an inch.
The fragile containers that once sat securely on the caddy burst open once they reached the hard porcelain surface of the tub, leaking around my feet. My beloved Clarisonic lay in pieces, joining the shampoo, soap, razor blades and sponges in a gooey mess on the bottom of the tub.
I’d narrowly missed a concussion but all I could think was, *Sigh* I bet if that man from the show had been here, he’d have stopped it all from falling in mid-air. Meanwhile my own husband didn’t even notice. Ty-Pi-Cal…. ”
But I’d barely thought the last few words when the shower curtain was ripped aside.
NaijaHusband stood there. How he got there that fast I’ll never know, but the force with which he threw the curtain open had frightened me….so I stood there frozen.
He looked at me quietly for a moment, then asked: “What’s the matter? I heard something falling…are you okay?”
I just looked at him. Still frozen.
He looked down and, when he saw the shattered, broken items around me, his eyes grew wide.
“Are you hurt?” he asked as he knelt to pick up each item, one by one, not minding that the still running shower was soaking his clothes.
Still I kept quiet.
He finished picking up each item, placed them by the sink, held me briefly, then said “Just call me if you need anything” and began to exit.
Finally, I found my voice.
“NaijaHusband?” I asked.
“Yes dear?” as he stopped by the door.
“You’re my hero. You know that right?”
Mystified, he just looked at me. I looked back at him. Stars in my eyes.
“I mean…you might not be Superman, but you’re real…and you’re definitely my hero.”
He smiled, then left.