Things NaijaWife Says – Episode 2 – “If You Like”

One of the many joys of marriage is that you begin to see funny patterns in the various conversations you have with your spouse. Welcome to Episode 2 of the Things NaijaWife Says Series! Inspired by the Things Black Girls Say meme.

Episode 2: If You Like

NaijaWife: *Taking a long shower as usual – peeks out of bath and shouts* – “Naijahusband wait for me! Let’s leave the house together!”v

NaijaHusband: *Frantically getting dressed* “…Sweetie I can’t. I have a client situation at work that I need to rush to handle.”

NaijaWife: “If you like eh, don’t wait for me. You’ll just find yourself with a domestic situation when you get back.”

NaijaHusband: *Calmly sits down to wait for her*

Later that day.

NaijaWife: *Calls him at work* “Are we still having date night today?”

NaijaHusband: *Looks around at his frantic colleagues* “I’m not sure sweetie….things are pretty rough here in the office.”


NaijaWife: *Sigh* “Well if you like, stay late at work. The later you stay, the less likely I’ll…”

No date night=Potential headache in the making

Well I warned you didn’t I?

NaijaHusband: Calmly opens email to find saved list of her favorite restaurants

The next day

NaijaWife: *Calling Naija Husband on the phone*

Phone keeps ringing with no answer

NaijaWife: *impatiently mutters to herself* “…If he likes eh, he shouldn’t pick up this phone.”

NaijaHusband: *suddenly picks up phone* “Hello darling, how are you?”

Later that night

NaijaWife: *Snuggled up on the sofa, forcing Naijahusband to watch Jenifa Pt. 2 again*

NaijaHusband: “Can we watch something else for once? Something that won’t make me fall asleep?”

Naijawife: “If you like, fall asleep.”

NaijaHusband: *Falls asleep*

Naijawife: *shocked*…Wait…My magic words didn’t work this time?!?!

Look out for more episodes of Things NaijaWife Says and Things NaijaHusband Says!


Welcome to the musings of the “not so typical” Naijahusband and his lovely Naijawife. Follow us on Twitter: NaijaHusband and NaijaWife


  1. Lol I’m suddenly scared about marriage. The small “woman wahala” I experience in relationships already seem overwhelming enough. I don’t think I can cope with this forever 🙁

  2. hahahahahaha! those magic words produce different results in my world sha! more like a dare…


  3. Pow! and Naijahusband slept. I wonder what the punishment would be.

    Who can i use this thing for o? I need S4 so i’ll say “if you like, don’t buy me S4 o” lol

  4. “If you like” don’t do another post about things naija says before the end of tomorrow. 😀 this was freaking hilarious

  5. That “if you like” phrase though!!! Male species have to be smart with a high level of perception to survive such phrases. Looool.

    • “If you like” dont nominate @naijahusband for the naijablogawards…. *wink

  6. Even as a single lady, I use that phrase wella. Its supposed to serve as a dare/ emotional blackmail. It obviously works, I should keep at it…winks.

  7. Hahahaha that if you like must be a potent threat except when dude slept off. You cant come between a man and his sleep yo. I keep telling ladies, if I m tired I m tired there is no jupiter that can separate me from my sweet dreams of marrying Halle Berry!

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