One of the many joys of marriage is that you begin to see funny patterns in the various conversations you have with your spouse. Welcome to Episode 2 of the Things NaijaWife Says Series! Inspired by the Things Black Girls Say meme.
Episode 2: If You Like
NaijaWife: *Taking a long shower as usual – peeks out of bath and shouts* – “Naijahusband wait for me! Let’s leave the house together!”v
NaijaHusband: *Frantically getting dressed* “…Sweetie I can’t. I have a client situation at work that I need to rush to handle.”
NaijaWife: “If you like eh, don’t wait for me. You’ll just find yourself with a domestic situation when you get back.”
NaijaHusband: *Calmly sits down to wait for her*
Later that day.
NaijaWife: *Calls him at work* “Are we still having date night today?”
NaijaHusband: *Looks around at his frantic colleagues* “I’m not sure sweetie….things are pretty rough here in the office.”
NaijaWife: *Sigh* “Well if you like, stay late at work. The later you stay, the less likely I’ll…”
NaijaHusband: Calmly opens email to find saved list of her favorite restaurants
The next day
NaijaWife: *Calling Naija Husband on the phone*
Phone keeps ringing with no answer
NaijaWife: *impatiently mutters to herself* “…If he likes eh, he shouldn’t pick up this phone.”
NaijaHusband: *suddenly picks up phone* “Hello darling, how are you?”
Later that night
NaijaWife: *Snuggled up on the sofa, forcing Naijahusband to watch Jenifa Pt. 2 again*
NaijaHusband: “Can we watch something else for once? Something that won’t make me fall asleep?”
Naijawife: “If you like, fall asleep.”
NaijaHusband: *Falls asleep*
Naijawife: *shocked*…Wait…My magic words didn’t work this time?!?!
Look out for more episodes of Things NaijaWife Says and Things NaijaHusband Says!
Hahahahaha!!!!! You guys ehn?
Hahahahahahahaha typical nigerian woman.
I just giggled cause my husband was reading this and said..typical naija wife.
Hahahahaha… The look on her face when you slept off must have been priceless.
So tey, she says ‘if you like’ in her mind and it has effect miles away. LOL
As in ehn!! See power! Looool
That one just smacked me in the ribcage, as in, she doesn’t even have to say it out.
LOL!!! you guys sha! I’m still laughing at all the If you like’s.
Lmbo! Now I read it I actually remember saying if u like a little too much myself.
Lol I’m suddenly scared about marriage. The small “woman wahala” I experience in relationships already seem overwhelming enough. I don’t think I can cope with this forever 🙁
Hahhahah.’If u like” sounds like u av a choice wen u really don’t.ewo o! Naijawife words and meanings.lmao!
Hahhahahahaha….mummy got served!!!!
Hahahaha Naijahusband don hear am! LOL
It’s just sweet you guys understand yourselves.
hahahahahaha! those magic words produce different results in my world sha! more like a dare…
Lol! I often say if you like to the children I teach in church, and its not as effective as NaijaWife’s own! I really should com and learn tips from this woman. Especially as I’d be using her signs and wonders http://www.naijahusband.com/2013/09/05/signs-wonders/ style for my husband when I marry.
Pow! and Naijahusband slept. I wonder what the punishment would be.
Who can i use this thing for o? I need S4 so i’ll say “if you like, don’t buy me S4 o” lol
So the phrase “if you like” works eh…*noted* lol
Hahahahaaa! Even the “if you like” she says in her mind works? You’re both so blessed to have each other. That is all!
Loooooolllll. Sleep is no respecter of person o, or threats for that matter
LOOL … I am just as guilty …. #typicalnaijawoman
#truethat I can testify to this!!!
LOL@ if you like eh don’t wait for me, you will find yourself with a domestic situation when you get back.. Too funny
“If you like” don’t do another post about things naija says before the end of tomorrow. 😀 this was freaking hilarious
The Fashion Engineer
If you like ehn…. In fact, lemme not talk!
Naijawife has telepathic abilities…I kinda visualize her as a ‘small but mighty’
Loolss love you guys!
That “if you like” phrase though!!! Male species have to be smart with a high level of perception to survive such phrases. Looool.
“If you like” dont nominate @naijahusband for the naijablogawards…. *wink
Even as a single lady, I use that phrase wella. Its supposed to serve as a dare/ emotional blackmail. It obviously works, I should keep at it…winks.
Lol! Okay seriously am honestly begining to think this is all fictional!
The word calmly u used every single time sort of beats reality
Lol. I guess you’ll have to meet us in real life to understand
Me too I want to understand o. Especially if meeting y’all is what it takes 😀
Hahahaha that if you like must be a potent threat except when dude slept off. You cant come between a man and his sleep yo. I keep telling ladies, if I m tired I m tired there is no jupiter that can separate me from my sweet dreams of marrying Halle Berry!
this is hilarious…………………loved it!
You both are adorable
Do write a book about marriage and its quirks
YOu both obviously love each other
It will sell
lmaooooo…..if you like…