One of the many joys of marriage is that you begin to see funny patterns in the various conversations you have with your spouse. Welcome to Episode 2 of the Things NaijaWife Says Series! Inspired by the Things Black Girls Say meme.
Episode 2: If You Like
NaijaWife: *Taking a long shower as usual – peeks out of bath and shouts* – “Naijahusband wait for me! Let’s leave the house together!”v
NaijaHusband: *Frantically getting dressed* “…Sweetie I can’t. I have a client situation at work that I need to rush to handle.”
NaijaWife: “If you like eh, don’t wait for me. You’ll just find yourself with a domestic situation when you get back.”
NaijaHusband: *Calmly sits down to wait for her*
Later that day.
NaijaWife: *Calls him at work* “Are we still having date night today?”
NaijaHusband: *Looks around at his frantic colleagues* “I’m not sure sweetie….things are pretty rough here in the office.”
NaijaWife: *Sigh* “Well if you like, stay late at work. The later you stay, the less likely I’ll…”
NaijaHusband: Calmly opens email to find saved list of her favorite restaurants
The next day
NaijaWife: *Calling Naija Husband on the phone*
Phone keeps ringing with no answer
NaijaWife: *impatiently mutters to herself* “…If he likes eh, he shouldn’t pick up this phone.”
NaijaHusband: *suddenly picks up phone* “Hello darling, how are you?”
Later that night
NaijaWife: *Snuggled up on the sofa, forcing Naijahusband to watch Jenifa Pt. 2 again*
NaijaHusband: “Can we watch something else for once? Something that won’t make me fall asleep?”
Naijawife: “If you like, fall asleep.”
NaijaHusband: *Falls asleep*
Naijawife: *shocked*…Wait…My magic words didn’t work this time?!?!